Monday, July 22, 2013

Keepin' It Real Mondays

I promised I'd tell the story of the four hour delay.  Looking back, I guess I can laugh now. Maybe...

Our flight home was Nashville to Detroit, Detroit to Phoenix.  We got to Detroit, pretty uneventfully.  Our connection was all the way across the terminal, but we had an hour total, so that was ok.  We got over to the gate, only to be told the plane was delayed by 30 minutes...something about waiting to get a plane from Chicago, where there were storms.  Ok, no big deal. So we plopped down and I tried to entertain Evie with some snacks.  Not ten minutes in and there was an announcement that now we were delayed by one hour. Ok. I can do this.  It will be alright. Luckily, there were people seated around us who seemed entertained by Evie, so she was able to toddle around and check people out.  Fifteen minutes later, and we are told that the plane will now not be arriving for two hours.  Two hours, in a terminal with only a hot sandwich shop and a Ruby Tuesday's.  Dear Lord.  By this time, it's approaching lunch, so I feed Evie the lunch I packed for her (you know, the one she was supposed to eat on the plane en route to Phoenix).  But then lunch ends. So what do you do to entertain a toddler in an airport, you might ask? Well, first of all, you lose all shame and pride. And then you:

Ride the moving sidewalk at least 126 times: 15 minutes
Sing the "Elmo's World"at least a dozen times: 4 minutes
Allow baby wipes to be pulled from their container, examined, and then attempted to be stuffed back in. Repeat. 121 times: 18 minutes
Take her to "Hudson News" and try to entertain her with a copy of People. "Evie! What's going on with Kim and Kanye?!  Are Khloe and Lamar divorcing?" And then you feel like the worst mom of all time: 3 minutes
Inside Hudson News, allow all the little rolls of Certs to be removed from their box. And then put back in. Then removed. Then put back in.  And you avoid eye contact with the employees: 6 minutes

And then I ran out of ideas.  And things started to really fall apart.

Around Evie's regular naptime, I put her in the Ergo Carrier thinking I can lull her to sleep with the sweet melody of "Elmo's World." Except immediately after putting it on, I have to pee. So I squeeze myself with Evie attached to me, plus our monster diaper bag and lunchbox into the bathroom stall. Wrestle my pants down, sit down, and hear a splash as the strap of the Ergo that is hanging free is now swimming in the toilet water. Figure that one out.

Another announcement is made, putting our flight at a total of four hours behind schedule. And this is when I started to feel panicky. Like, are we going to be here all night? Is this flight going to be pushed back by 30 minutes FOREVER? I call Kemi. He calls Southwest and finds out there's no other flights. We have no other options than to wait. And that right there made me feel pretty close to snapping.

Evie finally fell asleep in the Ergo (she can't EVER sleep except in her crib) after singing and pacing for 30 minutes.

Finally, after four of the longest hours, we were ready to board.  We got settled on the plane, and I had to realllly pull out all my best tricks to keep this girl entertained.

When we finally got to Sky Harbor, it was 9:30 pm. Evie was EXHAUSTED, and so was I.  We got off that plane as fast as my legs could carry us, grabbed my phone to call my brother to pick us up, and it's dead. Completely dead. By this point, Evie is losing her cool a little bit, and so am I.  I plug it in to charge it, and we wait. And wait. And wait. Twenty minutes later, and it hasn't turned on. And she's LOSING it.  I am dangerously close to tears, so we trek it all around the terminal until we find pay phones. Hey, remember those? And then they eat all my quarters. And then my collect call won't connect. It was BAD guys. Like, I felt like I was in some sort of new reality show. Survivor: SuperMom Edition. Except I'm not winning. Not even close. Jeff Probst is about to extinguish my tiki torch.

We finally end up going back to the charging station and just sit. And wait. Finally FINALLY it's charged enough, I call Ethan, and he's on his way. Honestly, I don't remember when I was last so happy to walk in my front door. Exhausting. And of course I told Kemi "Never again. Just never again." But of course now that it's been a few weeks since, I know Evie and I will have another adventure again soon. But maybe not without Kemi!


  1. Oh, I'm so sorry! On behalf of Detroit, I apologize...I usually have that series of nightmares in Chicago. :/ Glad you made it back finally... I'd say next time you get stuck in Detroit feel free to give us a ring, but I have a sneaking suspicion you're not coming through again soon after that! :)

    1. Haha! It wasn't that bad...who am I kidding, yes it was!

  2. Jeeeeeez sounds like a doozy of a day! The worst part had to have been being back in AZ and stuck at the airport with no phone! Gah! Some kind stranger should have noticed your plight and offered you their phone. What a nightmare!