Friday, March 7, 2014

Celeste's Heaven Day

On Wednesday, February 12th, we celebrated Celeste's one year anniversary in Heaven.  Kemi and I were both able to take the day off to just spend time as a family.

I really wanted to make the day special, and to start some traditions that our family can look forward to, as a special way to remember our little saint.  It was also really important to me that Evie have positive memories on Celeste's birthday, so I wanted to make a cake and make it more of a celebration.

On Tuesday night, I started baking the cake. I made the same Strawberry cake I made for Evie's first birthday, and that really made me nostalgic in a way. It was hard to think that we would have a one year old now.  What kind of birthday party would we be having? What would she be like?

On Wednesday morning, my brother in law dropped by a care package my sister had put together. Some pastries and bacon from Whole Foods, a card and some tulips.  It was so nice to be able to just hang out with Kemi and Evie, drink tea and eat breakfast together, and sort of mentally prepare for the day. 

These started disappearing fast!

We decided to hitch up the bike trailer and ride bikes to the nice park near our house. It was so good for our hearts to have no schedule and nowhere to be.  We stayed at the park for almost two hours, just enjoying a rare weekday off and time together.  After a few hours we rode back in time for Evie's nap. 

While Evie napped I ran up to the flower shop.  We planned to go to the cemetery, and I really wanted to bring daisies, since they always make me think of Celeste.  After the cashier rang up my daisies, she smiled and said "are these for someone special?" I burst into tears. Tears that were already sitting on the surface, waiting to come out. I didn't know what to say, and the not knowing resulted in a total breakdown. I started to cry and just couldn't stop. I muttered "my baby died" and got the hell out of there as fast as I could.  Even now, a year later, I don't know how certain questions, certain interactions, catch me completely unaware and cause my emotions to just spill over.

I picked up a few groceries for dinner and cards for Kemi (our fourth wedding anniversary was the next day, and Valentines Day the day after that) and got home just as Evie was waking up.

We headed out to the cemetery together.

The cemetery where Celeste is buried has a section just for children. It is heartbreaking to see all the tiny gravestones.  Babies like Celeste, who only lived one day, and others who lived a few days or weeks. It's such a special spot to remember Celeste, and pray for the families whose little ones rest there too.

My mom had brought a really beautiful arrangement earlier in the day. We left our daisies and Evie wanted to leave a pinecone (her new favorite "treasure" to find at the park). We still haven't ordered a gravestone, mostly because we just can't decide what we want it to look like.

Overall, it was a beautiful day spent with my two favorite people, remembering our sweet girl in Heaven. Saint Celeste, pray for us! We can't wait to hold you again.

1 comment:

  1. Happy you were able to enjoy the day together! That strawberry cake looks amazing...I would love the recipe ๐Ÿ˜Š